How to banish burnout
Control your thoughts, control your mind and banish the mindset of burnout
The study highlighted that in addition to physical and emotional exhaustion, burnout also includes cynicism towards work and self-blame for those feelings.
I can truly relate to that. In the past, whenever I felt overwhelmed, I always believed that there was something wrong with me. I would think that no one knew what it was like to walk in my shoes.
Everyone else deals with work and family obligations with ease. Why was I having such difficulty? It's easy to blame external factors but even easier to self-blame.
Blame and negative self-talk never actually serve us. Blame produces shame. It’s about finding fault. Accountability and ownership produce a path forward. A solution. Accountability allows us to take control of our lives in an empowered way.
The good news is that cynicism and self-blame are just thoughts and your thoughts are entirely optional.
Do not play the blame game
You have to accept them because they are real, but you don’t have to believe them because they're not really real. What do I mean by that? If you are feeling burned out...emotionally and physically exhausted, and you feel cynical about your work...and then blame yourself for those negative feelings, does this aid or exacerbate feelings of being burned out?
This is how the burnout cycle traps us. The more overwhelmed we feel, the more cynical thinking we have and the more likely we are to engage in self-blame, shame, and other things that absolutely drain us of energy. Thinking expends energy. Overthinking saps us of our energy.
Think about the last time you felt truly overwhelmed and exhausted. I can almost guarantee that you didn’t feel motivated to do anything productive. Generally, when we are in this space, we are slow, unfocused, irritable, cynical, and prone to distraction.
We may have difficulty sleeping due to anxiety or we may work late into the night to complete what couldn’t be finished the day before...and the cycle repeats...and repeats...until you can’t any more. That’s when overwhelm turns into burnout.
It is so easy to blame our workloads, the amount of time in the day, our clients, our coworkers, our bosses, or the law itself for our overwhelm. But if overwhelm was caused by the number of tasks we had to complete, then 100% of us would find ourselves overwhelmed and that just isn’t the case.
How is that some people can seem to accomplish so much without feeling overwhelmed and others struggle? There are a number of reasons including delegating, scheduling, boundaries, etc., but it all starts with our thoughts.
Much ado about the to-do
Here’s an example. Something like our to-do list is a neutral circumstance. We add the flavor to specific circumstances with our thoughts. Our thoughts are not facts, but rather our observations, judgments and perspectives. They can seem very factual, especially if we really believe them. However, they are not. One person may look at their to-do list and get excited because they think “I am making my dreams a reality” while another person may look at the same to-do list and think “this is my personal hell.”
Different attorneys will have very different thoughts about the exact same circumstance. Some lawyers love to write briefs, others hate it so much that they would rather outsource it. It cannot be the brief or the deadline that causes stress. It’s the thought surrounding it.
When I feel overwhelmed because I think “I don’t have enough time,” it doesn't generally spur me into action. In fact when we are exhausted and overwhelmed, we procrastinate, are irritable, unfocused, and slow.
Overwhelm is not a motivating feeling. The more overwhelmed I feel, the more likely I am to check out until that is no longer an option.
“I don’t have enough time” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, not because it’s true, but because a feeling of overwhelm is not conducive to being productive.
After the whole procrastination all nighter, we end up judgmental to ourselves. We say “why are you like this?” “you never plan!” “you suck!” or “someone’s going to find out what a terrible lawyer you are.”
You know, all the things you would never dare to say to another person. That self-blame ends up pulling us into the Cycle of Shame.
Get off the Cycle of Shame
It ends up creating even more useless thoughts that produce feelings that are also not conducive to doing better next time.
Perhaps in addition to self-blame, you blame external factors - your boss for assigning the brief, your associate for not doing the brief, or your assistant for not scheduling your time better.
Blaming external factors leads to resentment - and that leads to the dark side. It’s not conducive to productive working relationships...and it’s not conducive to getting our tasks done.
All of this is all well and good, but how do you break away from the thoughts that produce overwhelm?
The Thought Download
You need to get clear about your thoughts. What is true for you? Try doing a thought download.
Take a few minutes and get your thoughts and feelings onto paper and out of your head. You will be surprised at what is in there. Gaining this awareness will be essential before you decide to try on some new and more motivating thoughts.
When we have the thought, “I don’t have enough time” or whatever it is for you, we don’t have to believe it. We can practice thoughts that motivate us to take efficient, productive action.
We could think, “I am capable of scheduling my time so I don’t wait until the last minute.” That thought can produce a feeling of competence...or empowerment...or motivation.
When we are feeling empowered, we are more likely to take action like breaking our brief down into smaller steps, putting the steps in our calendar, and following through with our schedule.
You develop integrity with yourself by creating a system that works for you. Once you can start to develop integrity with yourself, you will be in a better place to tackle your circumstances like briefs and hearings without self-defeating untrue thoughts like “I don’t have enough time.”
Time is all in your head. There is enough to go around for everyone.
